What happens when we don’t follow the whisper of our heart? What happens when we do?

First, these questions dawned on me from personal experience. Earlier in my life and career (in my late 20s), everything seemed like it was coasting just the way it was supposed to: in a loving relationship, and navigating different companies in pursuit of more fulfilling roles and income. When my father was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer and eventually succumbed to illness, everything changed. It was the first time I recall meaningfully pausing: to grieve, to question, and to reflect…on all of my life. I realized that I wasn’t aware of what it even meant to follow one’s heart; after all, sometimes one can only hear such a whisper in silence, and with a meaningful respite from our conditioned responses. It was a painful realization at first to recognize that I was blindly following certain career pursuits without a tether to what truly mattered to me. It was also an opportunity to lean into the prospect of what Anais Nin coined “new beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”

It took time, compassionate teachers and coaches, and lived experiences to also learn many other life lessons that I found as foundational to following one’s dreams: patience, the courage and vulnerability of committing to inner work, and self-compassion.

With my coaching clients as well, I’ve learned what happens when we don’t intentionally follow a deeper calling. A range of feelings including staleness, languishing, guilt, and resentment. These often cast a shadow on our relationships, careers, and outlook on life, and (sometimes unhealthy) coping mechanisms can follow.

The poet Mary Oliver wrote “tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Can we reward ourselves with a sacred pause and some stillness to reflect on this?  What is possible when we rediscover our true selves and what we’re passionate about, and make the leap? For many of us, the risks and “what if’s” of everything that can go wrong can enter the picture.  This can then take us back to the reflection loop: what happens when we don’t follow the whisper of our heart? What happens when we do? These are central questions that we can lean into with care. The answers often come with relief, freedom, and a sense of aliveness full of possibilities. Few things may ever be as momentous and necessary.